University of Richmond Athletics
Spider Voices: Love Yourself, And Then Some
01/22/2019 | Women's Basketball, Spider Voices
By: Jaide Hinds-Clarke, Junior, Women's Basketball
Dear Friends,
You may not know me, but I am writing to you to let you know that I understand the way you feel. The feelings of stress and uncertainty that overwhelm you causing constant anxiety hovering over you. I once was scared about the idea of coming out, until I couldn't keep quiet anymore. I was scared. The fear of rejection from my family, peers, teammates, coaches and the sport itself immobilized me. Everyone has a different story. Some will be fortunate to have a perfect coming out story, and some will not have such an accepting experience. There are elements and individuals in our society that reinforce the notion that LGBTQ+ people must keep their identities a secret.
I knew for a long time, and could not bear holding the secret anymore. I was ready to share my authentic self with others. I started with my Mom, then my Dad. With my Mom, I got a good reaction but with my Dad, it took some time. Though the initial reaction was not the best, over time he learned that how I identified did not take away from who I am or who I was going to be. My Dad was more concerned with how other people were going to react and treat me, being the protective Dad that he is. Being supported by my parents, helped me to feel even more comfortable in my skin. This allowed me to continue my journey - telling friends, teammates, and coaches. It felt like weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Every coming out journey varies, and it is solely at your discretion when, who, and how to come out. It takes strength to be transparent about yourself when you know you may be facing rejection and opposition. Coming out is a step of vulnerability. I felt a sense of pride when I came out because it is a beautiful thing to feel confident in your skin. Do not be afraid of your feelings. Do not try to conform to the judgments of others. You are always going to be too much of something for someone – too big, too small, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your uniqueness.
For those of you coming out on campus, please consider using some of our campus resources to help you through your journey. LGBTQ Campus Life at Common Ground, The Chaplaincy, Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPs), and the University Dean's Offices are here to help you. To find out more about coming out resources at UR and the city of Richmond, please visit http://bit.ly/ComingOutSpiders. Remember to be proud of who you are and your journey.
Love yourself, and then some.
Jaide Hinds-Clarke, women's basketball
Dear Friends,
You may not know me, but I am writing to you to let you know that I understand the way you feel. The feelings of stress and uncertainty that overwhelm you causing constant anxiety hovering over you. I once was scared about the idea of coming out, until I couldn't keep quiet anymore. I was scared. The fear of rejection from my family, peers, teammates, coaches and the sport itself immobilized me. Everyone has a different story. Some will be fortunate to have a perfect coming out story, and some will not have such an accepting experience. There are elements and individuals in our society that reinforce the notion that LGBTQ+ people must keep their identities a secret.
I knew for a long time, and could not bear holding the secret anymore. I was ready to share my authentic self with others. I started with my Mom, then my Dad. With my Mom, I got a good reaction but with my Dad, it took some time. Though the initial reaction was not the best, over time he learned that how I identified did not take away from who I am or who I was going to be. My Dad was more concerned with how other people were going to react and treat me, being the protective Dad that he is. Being supported by my parents, helped me to feel even more comfortable in my skin. This allowed me to continue my journey - telling friends, teammates, and coaches. It felt like weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Every coming out journey varies, and it is solely at your discretion when, who, and how to come out. It takes strength to be transparent about yourself when you know you may be facing rejection and opposition. Coming out is a step of vulnerability. I felt a sense of pride when I came out because it is a beautiful thing to feel confident in your skin. Do not be afraid of your feelings. Do not try to conform to the judgments of others. You are always going to be too much of something for someone – too big, too small, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your uniqueness.
For those of you coming out on campus, please consider using some of our campus resources to help you through your journey. LGBTQ Campus Life at Common Ground, The Chaplaincy, Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPs), and the University Dean's Offices are here to help you. To find out more about coming out resources at UR and the city of Richmond, please visit http://bit.ly/ComingOutSpiders. Remember to be proud of who you are and your journey.
Love yourself, and then some.
Jaide Hinds-Clarke, women's basketball
Players Mentioned
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